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AboutTake an Amazon.com internet adventure anytime for a confusing yet funny, and disturbing ride.
My crazy Amazon adventure started when I was talking to a co-worker about some odd items I saw for sale on their site last week and he mentioned how a t-shirt with 3 wolves on it was a top-selling item, so I had to check it out.
Well what can I say about this? This looks like a shirt that can transcend any time period particularly the 80′s through the 90′s and should be worn by anyone that is a real man or even a manly woman could wear this! How about I let one of the comments speak for itself…
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that’s when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to ‘howl at the moon’ from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn’t have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn’t settle for the first thing that comes to him.
I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the ‘guns’), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.
There are plenty more comments where this came from and I am proud of Amazon for letting people really express how they feel on these!
From here, just scrolling down the I noticed the, “Customers Who Viewed This Item Also Viewed” section on the page and saw some interesting items apparently people have been viewing. The two main items that caught my attention were the Tuscan Whole Milk and the Zibaz pants. First of all I did not know you could purchase milk from Amazon and 2nd of all WHAT THE HELL are Zibaz pants? So of course I had to check these hot items out!
So at first glance there is nothing too weird about this page but my eyes wondered over to the images of the milk and saw some interesting preview images. I will leave this to you to check out but I will give you a hint: guy on a bike with a refrigerator on his back, a guy pouring milk on his face, goats running from a fire, Darth Vader holding the milk, and much much much much more. Yet again, I ask myself why does Amazon allow this to happen? Not that I am complaining but wow! And I thought I was running out of things to find on the internet!
So take a look at the great user submitted photos here.
And yet again I will leave you with another great comment for this product! This milk struck someone so great that they felt like writing a poem about it:
Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts ‘N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
‘Bad condensor, that,’ I muttered, ‘vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.’Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg’ed here for evermore.And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.
Of course that is just a sample of the poem, if you want to read more of it and also more comments go to the item page
These pants also look like they can transcend time and fashion and would be a perfect match for the 3 wolves t-shirt. This special legendary item deserves no sarcastic comments from me so I will let the description and user submitted photos do the talking!
